Various Scenarios

 Divorce is a very sensitive topic. It is a process that I wish upon nobody. There is nothing more important than the family. So, to see and hear of a family break-up truly breaks my heart. In past blogs, various topics were discussed regarding the family. Each family plays a special role. Combined, a family in unity brings peace, joy, and love.

Divorce is the path away from this.

Divorce can occur for a wide variety of reasons. Those who have witnessed or experienced a divorce will find that many of the situations are vastly different. There can be many different factors that can ultimately lead to the decision of a divorce. So, what kinds of factors can cause a married couple to file for a divorce?

For one, one side of the couple could be introducing dangerous outside factors into the family. In order to avoid the outside dangers, a couple may divorce in order to send off the family away from the dangers. Couples may also divorce due to a compiled list of problems that have built over time. One person may not be satisfied with the other person. A divorce may occur through the influence of others. This may occur intentionally or unintentionally. Friends, and possibly even family, may create negative remarks about the couple. They may soon buy into these negative remarks and file a divorce on behalf of these remarks. One may seek a divorce due to the fact that they seek something different form their significant other. They may focus only on the negatives of their spouse and fail to recognize the positives. They may seek only the best from other people and ignore any negative, for “a problem is now solved. “Whatever the motive is, it can be agreed upon that there are a wide variety of situations that could result in the action of divorce form a couple.

Divorce is a much more complicated process when children are involved. Children, once their parents are divorced, are set to live with one side of the family. Siblings can sometimes go for long periods of time not seeing each other, due to possible outside factors such as travel distance between the two locations. These children may experience the introduction of a stepmother and/or a stepfather. Children will react differently to stepparents than they would to their birth mother and birth father. They are often too young to comprehend the situation regarding the stepparent and their birth parent. Because of this, stepparents must attend to the children in a slightly different manner. Stepparents must leave heavy discipline to the birthparent. The children are more comfortable with their birth parent, so heavy discipline will most likely not affect their relationship as it is “understandable.” Stepparents can counsel children behind closed doors. They can act as a fantastic aunt or uncle. This is likely to strengthen their relationship with the stepchildren, building a great relationship.

It takes two years, or two cycles, to accept and "normalize" the relationship. This I find very interesting. Oftentimes, people let their emotions get the best of them. Lots of decisions may be made due to emotions, rather than critical thinking. It was told that many couples who have experienced a divorced have later regretted the decision. They were not able to comprehend how a divorce would affect the lives of the couple and children, if applicable, for the years to come. If couples spend the two cycles to accept and “normalize” the relationship, then they can often eliminate any negative emotions and return back to a loving and happy relationship.

I wish happiness unto all.